LIVING WITH ADICTION AND LOSS

Written by: Adam’s mom and dad; Christine Dobbs and Lang Watson

Our son Adam G. Watson born on January 8, 1989, died February 6, 2016. He died from an accidental overdose due to the toxic street drug fentanyl. Adam was raised in a loving, supportive family. He went to Riverview School and then to Churchill High School. He struggled in school and was overly sensitive. When Adam finished school, he worked various jobs that led him to be an Apprentice Electrician. He was presented with an honorary Journeyman certificate when he passed away, in recognition of his demanding work, creative thinking and problem solving. Adam did not want to die. He was only 27 years old, and this was a preventable death.

It is not that we blame anyone and, although it took years to not blame ourselves, we would like to share a few things that we now know to be true.

Looking back, Adam was a normal teenager, he liked to be adventurous and tested the limits. How does a seemingly normal young man turn to deadly drugs? Was it the party where someone brought pills found in the medicine cabinet that started the long journey ahead? We kept hoping that it would just go away but the real scare came in an early morning conversation before he left for work, “Mum,” he said, “I have a serious problem. I’m addicted to oxycontin, an opiate.” Shocked and shattered, we were not even sure what an opiate was, and we certainly had no idea about the dangers of this addiction. We immediately started the awful and humiliating task of trying to get help for his addiction. Not much was available in 2016 and our health care system was ill prepared for the growing addiction crisis. The Methadone treatment program helped him stabilize and helped him from having to search out for the street drugs. The program did nothing to help him seek out the root causes and frankly, for Adam, the program just made his feelings of shame worse. The stigma of drug addiction is very real and lining up to get a dose of methadone was humiliating.

Lessons we learned:

If you suspect someone you love has a substance use disorder, start with telling them you love them and you are there to support them as much as you are able.
Talk openly without shaming, without anger, asking how you can help.
If you suspect drug use, talk to your loved one’s friends and ask them what they know, and if they are they willing to help. Talk to the parents of his/her friends. Do not be afraid or feel shame. Drug use is a real thing, and it is not going away. Remember, it sometimes takes a village to help.
Talk to other family members about the addiction and your fears. Do not try to do this alone, join a support group. Self care is important.
Talk to the school or their employer. Do not be afraid to talk to employers, they need to also be aware, and they need to show compassion. Some employers may have programs and counselling opportunities available through their EAP services.
Read and learn what you can about the causes and care, learn about the detox and treatments available. Immediately learn how to use a Naloxone/Narcan Kit (opioid overdose antidote) and get one for your home and for your loved one. A Naloxone/Narcan kit and learning CPR is what can save a life. Be prepared.
Do not be in denial - Harm Reduction is the one thing that can save a person from overdose and death.
Be prepared for the day your child or loved one asks for help. Know who to call, know the waiting time, talk to your family doctor. It is critically important that if your child asks for help, they get it right away. The opportunity to access treatment/support can close very quickly for someone using drugs. It is not their fault; they have a disease that needs medical intervention.

Since the time of Adams death, we have researched and watched videos. We have joined support groups for our grief and groups that advocate for change in drug policies and that push governments for evidence-based harm reduction. Know what Harm Reduction is because it saves lives. Harm Reduction is Naloxone kits, the Good Samaritan Act, Methadone programs, Safe or Supervised Consumption Sites, Safe Supply, Decriminalization of personal amounts of illicit substances (SUPPORT DON’T PUNISH), and redefining recovery. Mental health and addictions services are part of the primary care with a focus on early identification, prevention, and treatment options. So much could be done and much has changed since Adam died, but not enough!

There are far too many of our children dying within a system that lacks compassion, expertise, and appropriate resources. In our own community we know of seven young people who have died as a result of poisoned street drugs. And there are several others that are struggling with addiction. The dangers of street drugs and addiction do not discriminate. Our Health care professionals and those in the field of mental health and addictions are often not in touch with the latest research and protocols. There are not enough provincial supports for mental health and addictions. There is no provincially led medical detox for opiate users, something that is so needed, as many will not go into detox because the pain of withdrawal can be a frightening reality. The current privacy laws present roadblocks to recovery. Parents, family members and significant others need to be part of the process and need to be involved. We need to be looking at the root causes of addiction. Much research is starting to present itself like that of Gabor Mate, a well documented scholar in the world of trauma and the long-term effects. Criminalization of people who are using illegal substances does nothing to help them. The police and justice system need to look at the “support don’t punish model”. The stigma caused by criminalization prevents people from asking for help and choosing a life saving option. Many of our children died alone, and Adam was one of those children, driven into the shadows by a judgmental society.

As caring and compassionate citizens we need to create spaces in our communities for both those who are addicted, as well as their support people. The isolation that so often occurs with addiction simply exacerbates an already painful and untenable situation. If we do not support each other in our community, eventually we all suffer in silence.

Let us open the dialogue about addiction and what needs be done to improve services. We have included in this piece some of the resources that can help you or your loved ones. Although navigating a system is exceedingly difficult, it is very important that you take the time now and prepare yourself. Wait lists are a big issue for those trying to access a treatment program.

Resources:

Rapid Access to Addictions Medicine (RAAM) – 5 clinic sites in Manitoba: (limited hours of operation)
Patients can self refer to a RAAM clinic. RAAM clinics are walk-in clinics for adults (ages 18+) looking to get help with high-risk substance use and addiction.
Call 1-855-662-6605 for more information or visit: https://afm.mb.ca/programs-and-services/raam/

Moms Stop the Harm (MSTH) is a network of Canadian families impacted by substance-use related harms and deaths. We advocate to change failed drug policies and provide peer support to grieving families and those with loved ones who use or have used substances. Momsstoptheharm.com

Addictions Foundation of Manitoba (AFM): http://afm.mb.ca//contact/ Toll free: 1-866-638-2561 Winnipeg Men’s Services: 204-944-6209
Winnipeg Women’s Services: 204-944-6229
For a listing and contact information for all AFM offices outside of Winnipeg: http://afm.mb.ca/contact/afm-offices-outside-winnipeg/

Manitoba Opioid Support & Treatment (MOST)– Addictions Foundation of Manitoba https://afm.mb.ca/programs-and-services/most/
Winnipeg 204-944-7070 Brandon 204-729-3838

Nine Circles Community Health Centre, Winnipeg (admission criteria apply for intake into primary care and OAT) https://ninecircles.ca/programs-services/clinic-services/become-client-nine- circles/ General Line: 204-940-6000; Toll Free: 1-888-305-8647

Klinic Community Health, Winnipeg (admission criteria apply for intake into primary care and OAT)
http://klinic.mb.ca/health-care/team-based-medical-care/
Phone: (204) 784-4090

Behavioral Health Foundation: 204-269-3430 http://www.bhf.ca Long term residential treatment

Opiate Assessment Clinic – Health Science Centre: 204-787-2482 https://cpsm.mb.ca/cjj39alckF30a/wp- content/uploads/Opioid%20Assessment%20Clinic.pdf

Mainstreetproject.ca Withdrawal Management Services

Streetconnections.ca We base our services on a harm reduction philosophy. This means that we support programs and policies that improve the health of people who use drugs and support people in their efforts to keep themselves and the larger community safe, without judging people for their sexual or drug use practices. They have an extensive list of where you can get a Naloxone Kits, for free

August 31st is International Overdose Awareness Day.

It is a day to remember our loved ones who have gone too soon. A day to create awareness and educate yourself and others on the perils of addiction.

It is a day to tie a purple ribbon around your tree to show others you do care.